


Tuna Fish is not Gourmet

by georgiamagnolia



Series: The Plot Bunnies of Barba and Benson [6]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, Gen, attempted burglary, mentions of SVU typical cases
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:41:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27041437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/georgiamagnolia/pseuds/georgiamagnolia
Summary: Will Olivia and Rafael ever get to enjoy one uninterrupted evening of peace and quiet, or an entire movie without falling asleep? Not so far...
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson
Series: The Plot Bunnies of Barba and Benson [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1945330
Comments: 12
Kudos: 37





	Tuna Fish is not Gourmet

The afternoon became the Uncle Rafa and Noah Show with the only audience member being Olivia Benson with a front row seat. She had a book in her hands but rarely read an entire page without stopping to watch the antics of the two others in the room. 

Rafael had found a channel full of kids shows that included old episodes of Sesame Street and Noah couldn’t believe that it was a show that both his mom and his Uncle Rafa had watched when they were kids themselves. Rafael pushed the coffee table to the side of the room and he and Noah had sat themselves in the middle of the living room with Legos from the bag Olivia had packed. Every once in a while, Noah and Rafael would start singing along with the show or just burst out laughing at their own jokes during commercial breaks. 

Olivia watched a completely different Rafael than the one she knew, the one who wore three piece suits well, that commanded a courtroom with a look, whose words cut the heart out of the opposition’s argument and still could convince a jury what was true. That man was controlled and his every look, word, and gesture was calculated for winning something from someone. The Rafael she saw with Noah was none of those things. This Rafael was relaxed and his laughter filled his eyes with light she’d never seen there before. He was as animated and engaged with Noah as he was intense and focused in the courtroom. And he was as much of a jack-in-the-box as her son, both of them rolling from lying on their stomachs watching the tv to sitting up and building their Lego project then on to jumping to their feet to act out something they saw on the show and then falling on to the floor laughing at their own jokes. Olivia had never seen Rafael’s face move so much, in fact she didn’t know he could smile so wide or that when he laughed she could see the sharp points of his canine teeth or that she would find it all so enticing. She had always found his subtle looks and his buttoned up appearance and the nearly secret way he communicated to her in nods and eyebrow lifts to be appealing because she sometimes thought he reserved some of those gestures just for her. She found herself too often holding those secret moments close even when she couldn’t admit to herself she was.

~~~ ~~~

“You made all this?” Noah asked with no little awe when he looked from dinner to his Uncle Rafael when they were finally washed up and seated at the table.

“Your mom made the salad, but the rest of this, yes.” Rafael said as he buttered a torn chunk of warm from the oven bread.

“Did you know boys can cook, Mom?”

Olivia grinned at her son, “Yes, sweet boy, I did.” She cut up some roast beef and vegetables for Noah and sat his plate in front of him, nodding at Rafael when he offered silently to butter some bread for the boy.

Noah watched Rafael pour gravy on his roast beef and asked, “What is that?”

“It’s gravy, do you want some?”

“Do I like gravy, Mom?”

“You might,” she said, “try a little and see.”

“Yes, thank you, please.” Noah beamed at his even more favourite than usual Uncle Rafa.

Both Olivia and Rafael watched as Noah tasted it, then smiled when he did. Rafael spooned a little more gravy on Noah’s plate and smiled when he said thank you again.

“If you’d like, you can help me in the kitchen more and learn some things about cooking. You are never allowed to use the stove by yourself though, ok?” Olivia said as they ate dinner.

“I’d like that! Can I learn to make roast beef?”

Olivia laughed at his sudden enthusiasm, “Let’s maybe start with something easy like tuna fish sandwiches and work our way up to gourmet.”

“What’s gore-may?”

“It’s a fancy way to say more complicated than sandwiches,” Rafael said before Olivia could answer.

Noah looked to his mom for confirmation and when she smiled he did too, not sure if there was a joke he was missing, but the promise to get to learn things about cooking distracted him from the wondering.

When dinner was done and the dishes finished, not without an argument about whose turn it was to do them with both the adults insisting it was theirs and not the other’s, Noah wanted to read with his Uncle Rafa, so he did. They put away the Legos and restored the coffee table to its home in front of the couch, then sat together and Rafael insisted that Noah should show him his reading skills, which were good for a kid his age, then agreed to read a chapter of a book that Noah could then borrow.

Olivia took the opportunity to finish the laundry, fold it and sort it into baskets and then make sure that she and Noah had clothes out for the next day before stacking the baskets in the corner of the guest room. 

When she returned to the living room she saw that the boys were deep into chapter two of Wind in the Willows. She leaned over the couch back and waited for the end of a paragraph to interrupt. “After this chapter is done it will be bath time for someone.”

“But why?” Noah asked her, obviously not wanting the evening to end because after bathtime came bedtime.

“Because you haven’t had one since night before last,” she counted reasons off on her fingers, “and you were at a birthday party where I am sure you tried hard not to be messy but even I can’t keep that clean at a party, and because you are a guest and don’t want to get whatever you tracked home from the zoo all over someone else’s sheets.”

“Your mom sounds like she is going to be a lawyer when she grows up with all those logical arguments. We’ll finish this chapter and then after your bath I will read some more when you are tucked up in bed, deal?”

Noah allowed that it was a good plan, so they finished the chapter while Olivia sat out night clothes and started a bath in the guest bathroom. She got Noah settled in the tub with a few toys she had brought for his bath and again joined Rafael in the living room.

“You are so patient with him, thank you.” Olivia sat on the couch next to Rafael and looked at the book he’d been reading to Noah.

“It’s not difficult, he’s sweet and funny and I enjoy having him here, and you.”

Olivia’s phone rang and she sighed, pulling it out of her sweatshirt pocket to check if it was someone she could ignore. It wasn’t.

“It’s work, I have to take it. Will you listen for Noah? I left the door a little open and I usually help him rinse the shampoo out of his hair.”

Rafael nodded and she answered the phone, going into the guest room and shutting the door nearly all the way. She was still gone when Noah called so Rafael got up and went to the bathroom door and knocked.

“Hey Noah, it’s me, is it ok if I come in and help you rinse the shampoo out?”

“Sure,” came the happy reply.

Rafael let the door swing open and saw that Noah had scooped his soapy hair into a mohawk and was chasing a fairly faithful copy of a New York Harbor tug boat with a rubber duck that was the same size as the tug. It made him smile. “Your mom had to take a call, hope it’s ok if I help instead.” He wanted to make sure Noah was comfortable with him doing his mom’s job but the boy was less than bothered, busy chasing the boat with the duck that he was making monster noises for while terrorizing the boat.

“Of course, Uncle Rafa, it’s great.”

Rafael got a dry wash cloth out and checked under the bathroom cabinet for a plastic cup, he was sure he’d seen one under there at some point in the past. He didn’t spend much time in the guest bath since he rarely had guests. There was one, though he couldn’t remember why it had been stashed there. “You about ready?” he asked Noah and got a happy yes in reply. He ran warm water in the sink to fill the cup for rinsing, gave the washcloth to Noah to cover his eyes, and rinsed the mohawk away.

Olivia walked into the bath to find that Noah was out and dry and dressed in pajamas and was singing a rousing chorus of Rubber Ducky with Rafael as he put toothpaste on his toothbrush. Rafael had found a small one step stool for Noah to stand on to reach the sink and faucet for brushing his teeth. 

Noah looked up at his mom and said, after the song was over, “Don’t tell Jimmy’s mom, but this is a way better sleepover.”

Olivia grinned and promised to never tell while Rafael just smiled like he’d won an Oscar.

Together they tucked Noah in but Rafael had left the book on the coffee table and Olivia followed him out to get it. “I have to go in for an hour, are you ok watching Noah?”

“Of course, if he’s ok staying with me.”

“I think that’s a no-brainer, Counselor, you are his new favourite flavour.”

“No complaints here.”

“Yeah, wait until he isn’t on Company Manners and tell me again how much you love watching him.”

“He’ll be asleep soon, it was a long day and he already yawned a dozen times.” Rafael’s face turned serious, “Is there anything I can do about work?”

“Not yet, it’s a date rape situation. Fin and Amanda need another warm body but her babysitter has the flu so Sonny is on baby duty. He’s also studying, so I told them I’d come in and run parent interference for them. I shouldn’t be more than an hour.”

“Call if you need anything, I can call for warrants and get them to you.”

“Thanks. Let me go say goodnight to my boy, then lock the door behind me.”

“Of course.”

While she was saying goodnight to Noah and making sure he would be good for his Uncle Rafa, Rafael was searching in his own kitchen junk drawer. He found what he was looking for tucked in jar with a Statue of Liberty keychain and another keychain depicting some kind of Miami beach scene. Neither of the keychains were actually attached to the keys so he slipped them on the Miami one and met Olivia at the door. 

“Here, in case it’s more than an hour or so, you can get in the house and not wake up Noah.” He showed her the two keys and told her one was for the back door to the building and showed her which one was for his apartment door deadbolt.

“Thanks for the loan of the keys, and for watching Noah.”

“My pleasure, honestly.” Then he whispered, “I’m going to feed him cookies and ice cream and he’ll be bouncing off the ceiling by the time you get home.”

“Shh, for gods sake Rafa, he’ll think you’re serious,” she whispered but couldn’t help laughing. 

He locked the door after she left, making sure the bolt was secured but the chain wasn’t.

Noah was ready when he returned with the book, eyes shining but getting sleepy. Eddie the Elephant was tucked in one side of the bed and Rafael gave him a raised eyebrow.

Noah looked at the stuffed animal and grinned, “He’s keeping mom’s side of the bed warm so she will be comfy when she gets done with work.”

“That’s very kind of him.”

“Yeah. Uncle Rafa, can you be a cop and a lawyer, too?”

“You mean like your Uncle Sonny is doing right now?”

“He’s gonna be both?”

“Sure is, one more big test and he will be a lawyer.”

“I thought tests were just for school kids.”

“Well, Uncle Sonny is taking night classes, that means that he works during the day with your mom and then goes to school at night.”

“But he’s not a kid.”

“Well, schools like college and university are for grown ups of all ages.”

“I like school but I don’t know if I like it enough to go forever.” Noah’s emphasis on the word forever made Rafael grin at him. It did sometimes feel like forever when he’d been at University.

“You have a few more years before you have to make that sort of choice, I promise.”

Noah yawned with his eyes squeezed shut and his mouth all the way open.

“Eddie says it’s time for stories, what do you say?”

“Yes, please and thank you, Uncle Rafa.”

Three pages in and Noah was sound asleep.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

It was closer to two hours later when Olivia was finally making her way back toward Rafael’s apartment building. She was surprised at how happy it made her to be heading back there, though maybe it shouldn’t surprise her that much. She hadn’t worried once about the late hour or if she was overtaxing her nanny for being out late with work. Allowing Rafael to watch Noah had been so easy and her confidence in his care for her son came naturally, she’d never doubted that they would be fine together. And the thought of another adult waiting for her return who wasn’t her nanny was just as lovely as the thought of who it was waiting for her with her son sleeping sweetly in the other room. “Don’t get used to it,” she muttered under her breath. But oh how her heart wanted to be used to it, to sharing the fun that her son could be, and dispelling the stress her job could be, too.

She pulled into the reserved parking space, making sure she had all her keys and swipe card in order and just took a moment to breathe deeply in the dark of her unmarked squad car, to let go and decompress a moment.

From her spot she could see both the elevator and the gate to the parking garage. It wasn’t just a drop down arm like at a rail crossing or commercial parking garage but an actual gate that swung up and out of the way. She could see two figures separate from the darker shadows around the gate and start doing something at the swipe card machine that would allow access. Without allowing her alarm to show she hunkered down a bit in the seat to watch and reached for her phone. By the time she had identified herself and was routed to the correct section there was a security guard approaching from the elevator. She slipped from the car and intercepted the guard, holding her shield down so he could see it and speaking softly, still holding the phone to her ear and the dispatcher on the other end could hear everything.

“Sure, Lieu, Theo told us about you. We saw on the camera that someone was fu… messing with the gate. It’s shift change right now so we have double the staff for ‘bout fifteen more minutes and two more guys are coming around from the street side. Ever’body likes Mr. Barba, so if he’s needing watched we got ya.”

“Later you’ll tell me how you know that Barba needs protection, right now let’s back up your guys, huh?”

“Sure thing, ma… ah, Lieu.”

Olivia just nodded, updated the dispatcher to relay the information to the responding officers and kept the line open as they walked toward the gate, keeping to the dark side of the aisle of cars.

Olivia clipped her badge to her collar and slipped her phone into her sweatshirt pocket where she hoped the dispatcher could still hear what was going on, but she felt the need to keep her hands free. The guard she was with swiped his own card past the reader and the gate started to rise silently, they ducked under it as the two men outside started to turn and the two other guards rounded the corner from the street and things happened very fast. 

One of the figures turned for the street and ran smack into the guards, one clotheslined the guy and the other held him on the ground. The other figure ran straight for Olivia who grabbed him, used his own momentum against him and had him against a car with his arm twisted behind him as fast as possible.

The guard that was with Olivia gave a chuckle, “Amateur, thinking the woman would be the easy target.” He took over holding the guy so Olivia could check for weapons and ID. He had a sap in his coat pocket and a knife in one boot. No ID. The guards brought the other guy over and he had a bag of electronics but no weapons or ID.

The expected squad car pulled up without lights or sirens, blocking the driveway, and two officers got out and joined them inside the entrance to the garage. A few more security guards showed up but stood back to watch the proceedings, having not been involved. By the time the police had the men in cuffs and ready to transport to a station, an unmarked car pulled up and two detectives joined the party.

One detective drew Olivia aside while the other directed the officers about which suspect to put in the unmarked car and the other in theirs and where they would take them. 

After pleasantries, the Detective got right to business. “Lieutenant, we know whose address this is, do you think it’s related to that situation?”

“I really can’t tell. It looked more like burglary or wiretapping they were loaded for rather than murder or mayhem, but to err on caution’s side we better act like it was related.” Olivia took his lead and didn’t mention the name of the ADA waiting upstairs for her return. “And you can call me Olivia outside your precinct,” she gave him a small smile.

“Sure thing, when you call me Jamie outside yours,” he also smiled. “I have your number, if we need anything, we’ll call. I’ll make sure the boss gets the details, but for now we’ll take the complaint from the building security and book them on trespassing and attempted breaking and entering. If it turns out unrelated we can keep it quieter that way.”

“I love your confidence in keeping things quiet.”

The detective just sighed and gave her a look that spoke volumes about the leaking sieve that was often their own workplaces.

Another fifteen minutes passed and then the cars were gone, the gathered security guards had dispersed either to their stations or home if they were getting off shift, and all that was left to watch the security gate slide closed and locked were Olivia and the guard who she had intercepted before. Olivia checked her phone, the dispatcher had hung up when the squad car showed up. She was disappointed to see that another hour had gone by since she pulled into the garage and it was after eleven now.

“Hey, get Jerry up, we have lights out down here and that won’t do.” The guard was speaking into his phone, he waited for an answer. “Yeah, and get a guy to escort him, whatever is going on tonight we better double up,” more listening and then, “Yeah, look, I’ll get it ok’d, no worries.” He signed off the call and smiled at Olivia. “Sorry I didn’t introduce myself earlier, I’m Eric.” He put out a hand and Olivia shook it; he had a nice firm grip but not the kind that had anything to prove. “May I escort you upstairs?” he grinned when her eyebrows lifted in disbelief. “Not that you can’t take of your own self, you understand, but I have to go all the way up to the penthouse level anyway so I can keep the boss in the loop, so I might as well make sure you make it to your destination. Just being neighborly.” His smile was wide and open, no hidden meanings or digs.

“Sure, that’d be fine, thanks,” Olivia turned toward the elevator and Eric fell into step beside her. He was a tall, broad presence beside her and his swagger was more along the lines of old West gunslinger, like a man used to horseback rather than taxi. “How long have you been in New York?” she asked when they were in the elevator. 

Eric laughed, “Ten years and you can still tell.”

“Lifelong New Yorker, we just smell it.”

“About the other thing, Theo’s uncle is tuned in to a lot of places, he worked as an investigator for the district attorney after he retired from the force. He gave us a heads up that there’s some trouble goin’ down. He didn’t have details, just told us to keep an eye out.”

“I appreciate you letting me know that,” Olivia said. “And I’m sure Barba will be happy to know you’re on the look out.”

“Mr. Barba’s good people, we look out for our own.”

Olivia smiled, hearing an echo of something she’d said herself recently. There were layers and layers to the facets of Rafael Barba, and she was learning new ones rapidly.

Eric left her at Rafael’s door and tipped his baseball cap before heading back to the elevator and Olivia swore it should have been a Stetson. She smiled as she unlocked the door and then locked it again from the inside, putting the chain lock in place. 

The apartment was dim, the light over the stove on as it had been the night before. There was an additional light in the living room, a lamp on the end table by the couch. Rafael was sitting there, bare feet on the coffee table, a book in his hands. He looked up and smiled when she entered.

“You look like you could use a drink, or another bubble bath,” Rafael put his book aside and put his feet on the floor so he could turn toward her.

Olivia dropped to the couch, toed off her shoes under the coffee table and sighed. “Yeah, all that and a bag of chips. The case was as routine as ours ever are, but your garage is another story.”

“Sounds like we’ll both need a drink. I have scotch, scotch, maybe a bottle of Zin, and various add ins for boozy milkshakes. And some sherry but mostly for cooking. What’s your pleasure, then you can tell my why my garage is traumatic.” He rose and headed for the kitchen.

“Scotch, rocks.” Olivia started to stand but Rafael motioned for her to stay put and returned with her scotch on ice and one straight up for himself. He had brought the bottle along, sensing that this might be a two or three drink night.

Olivia told him everything, including that his building’s security force was on the job to keep an eye on him and why. Rafael stayed quiet during the telling and when she was done, they had both finished their drinks. He poured another two fingers for himself and held the bottle up in silent question, she held her glass out and he poured the same for her.

Olivia’s phone beeped with a text message before they could discuss the events in the garage. She checked it and it was from Dodds. She texted back a simple answer and her phone rang almost immediately.

“Benson.”

Rafael watched as Olivia listened to her boss, wondering if this new event was going to trigger a new and worse lockdown.

“I understand, yes, things are fine here.” Olivia listened some more and finally signed off the call.

“Good news,” she said when she hung up the phone, sitting it on the coffee table. “The guy with the electronics is singing like a bird and the attempted break in was nothing to do with you.”

“And you believe in coincidence?” Rafael’s doubt was plain in his voice and raised eyebrow.

“No, but the guy swears he was here to bug the penthouse.”

“There are two penthouse apartments, which one was he here for?”

“He said ‘the’ penthouse.”

“Get Dodds back on the phone, we know he’s awake.”

Rafael got his own phone from the kitchen where he’d left it and called the security desk in the lobby, getting an answer on the first ring. He hung up and went to the door to wait, a puzzled Olivia joined him with Dodds on the line. There was a quiet knock and Rafael opened the door to Eric standing on the other side. Rafael invited him in and locked the door after him. 

“Eric, I’ve got you on speaker with one of my colleagues, Captain Dodds, is that ok?”

“Sure thing, Mr. Barba.”

Olivia checked to make sure the phone was set to speaker as Rafael continued to talk with Eric.

“How many apartments are on the penthouse floor?”

“Technically there are two penthouse apartments on the top floor, but there is another double size apartment on the sixth floor which qualifies as a penthouse though most folks think penthouse only means top floor,” Eric said.

There was muffled sound on the line then Dodds came back on, “Ah, Eric, you work there at the building I am guessing?”

“Yes, I am the senior security officer tonight, but my boss is awake if you want to talk to him.”

“And who is your boss?”

“Mr. Steele is technically my boss, he owns the security organization I work for, we are contracted for this building.”

“I might need to talk to him about this, how did you know he was awake this time of night?”

“Because he lives in one of the top floor penthouses and I was just there.”

“Well dammit.” There were more muffled noises and then Dodds was back again. “Yeah, I’m going to need to speak with him. Barba, stay where you are and don’t go anywhere. Benson, will you loan your phone to this nice gentleman and let him coordinate with me please?”

“Sir, I’m taking you off speaker and handing the phone over.” Olivia made sure the call didn’t drop and handed the phone over to Eric who smiled a thanks and turned away to talk. Rafael and Olivia backed off to give him what privacy the entry hall allowed. They watched Eric take a small notebook out and make some notes, then he signed off he call and told Olivia it was her turn to talk to her boss.

Olivia listened to Dodds while Rafael and Eric watched, then hung up after telling Dodds thanks and good luck. Rafael wondered about the luck, Eric just stood by quiet and tall and assured.

“I guess none of us are going to have a good night, huh?” Olivia asked nobody in particular.

“Nah, Lieu, Mr. Steele is going to have a great night, he likes a little excitement now and again. Now you two just snuggle in for a good night’s sleep and don’t worry about anything, nobody is getting in here without some authorization. Your Captain there is going to talk to my boss and see if they can figure out who was trying to get one over on them. It’s not looking good for our burglars though. You two have a good night now, and call if you need anything. Us night owls will be on watch.” Eric tipped his hat again and let Rafael lock him out once more.

They reconvened at the couch, phones side by side on the coffee table and drinks in their hands. Rafael sat with his back against the arm of the couch, one knee drawn up and leaning on the back while he folded the other under him. Olivia sat with her back against the other arm of the couch and it was long enough that when she stretched her legs in front of her, her sock covered toes didn’t quite reach Rafael’s shin. 

“Did I take a left turn into BizzaroLand tonight?”

“Welcome to my last six weeks,” Rafael toasted her with his drink.

Olivia raised hers in reply and they drank in silence for a while.

“Movie?” Rafael asked.

“Yeah, I’m not going to sleep anytime soon.”

“Feelin’ ya.”

By unspoken agreement they got up and each headed for a bathroom to change into night clothes. Olivia returned to the living room to find their empty glasses cleared away and only the kitchen light burning. Rafael was scrolling through the movie menu. They matched again, dark sweats and tank tops, hers red and his white. She smiled as she joined him on the couch. He unfurled the quilt off the back and they picked a movie to watch while they didn’t sleep. 

~~~ ~~~ ~~~

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for indulging me for a moment and reading my bits of not-yet-fluff&hawt, though I promise I am getting there. I did want to mention that usually music and movies mentioned are my own likes because I have no idea what other people's characters might like so my artistic license is often broad and includes the things I know or like. (it's my version of self insertion I guess) I also sometimes include people I know as original characters, in this story making an appearance is a friend I knew decades ago and I just found out he died last Autumn. I translated my sadness into letting him live again in my story. Eric was a beautiful man with a very sharp mind, a Buffalo Bill Cody scholar who wrote and acted in a pretty amazing one man show about Cody's life. Nobody who knows him will be reading this, but I hope somewhere on the great stage of the afterlife he knows he is still loved and missed. Again, thank you for indulging me, for reading, for being patient with the slow!burn plot bunnies. I promise, Hawt before Halloween!


End file.
